BREAKING THE CHAINS OF NEGATIVE SELF TALK

Written By

Candice White

Ever notice those stories that play in your head? Oh, I’ve got them too. They are those sneaky little whispers that sound like your best friend trying to protect you. They create stories and dramas that exaggerate what someone said. One statement about your clothing turned into a feeling and then a saga that you’re unlikable. What was meant as some passing comment has now turned into a story of how you’re out of style and gaining weight.

I do it too. We go on and on telling others what our co-worker said to us. “Yeah, she thinks she’s better than everyone. Who is she to tell me that I’m lazy since I skipped yoga?” The reality: all she asked was, “Why did you skip yoga today?” We make up these stories and turn others against us, often creating problems that aren’t really there. But why?

We hear these tall tales and make them the truth. We turn what others do and say into something that feeds our inner victim. We often believe we know what others are thinking and interpret everything in a way that protects us. So often we are immune to these stories that we forget that they are just that: stories, theatrical soap operas, fables, made up dramas, internal dialogs. We believe it’s who we are, but it’s not. You are not your inner voice. You are the creator of the voice that has the power to shift those thoughts into a life you dream!

In my spiritual growth, I’ve discovered that early on in life, something happens that made us feel like the world was harmful and that people would destroy or harm us. Out of our own protection, we’ve assumed what others say means the same thing as what we interpret, and so we’ve created inner dialogs that exaggerate truth to make us feel safe. We gather enough info to support evidence that we’re “right” and they’re “wrong.”

Our little, bruised inner child holds onto old wounds of rejection, so when we hear something that feels like rejection or judgement, our child is triggered and the stories begin and tend to carry on.

As we become conscious of these inner tales, we can begin to watch them and ask if they are true. “Is it true that she said I was lazy? Am I making that up because I feel lazy?” We can begin to sort out the inner theatrical play and see that fewer people are out to get us then presumed. We may also discover that we can believe a lot of self sabotaging thoughts if we aren’t careful. We take lots of things personally that aren’t meant to be taken as such. But if we look closely, usually it’s us beating ourselves up.

Those stories can begin to quiet and silence as soon as we notice them. Just stop and see. When we look for truth in them, they start to lose their substance and power in our lives. As we replace victimizing thoughts and stories with conscious stories and look for our heroine, we use our power! When we see the mental soap opera for what it is—energy—we can shift its focus to create a future of possibilities! As we discover that we aren’t those thoughts after all, the stories lose their value and we can begin to become more present and craft the future we dream of!

By nurturing our wounded inner child and accepting and appreciating her, we see the world mirrors. As she heals, she strengthens and grows in her fierce power, maturing into a woman who accepts her authentic self. She knows she’s safe and doesn’t let the inner dramas dictate her life and well being. She stands up and listens closely and presently to what others say to discover what they are aiming to convey.

She stands for others, rising in their power by using their words to support their best lives. She creates opportunities for her growth and promotes harmony by changing that inner dialog to one that is loving and steadfast!

Above all, she creates who she is by letting go of past stories to design a masterpiece of a life!