From a young age, we’re
taught to say “thank you” after someone helps us. For many of us, it is now
automatic – we say thank you to cashiers, servers, delivery people, coworkers –
the list goes on. However, how many times do you actually feel the gratitude
that “thank you” implies? Are you truly appreciating the work that the person
has put in, or are you just saying it as a social nicety?
Truly, deeply-felt
gratitude seems to be lacking in our society. We’ve exchanged heartful feelings
of thankfulness for a curt thank you, added as an afterthought as we move
through our busy lives. By doing so, we’re missing out on the powerful effects
that gratitude has on our mind and emotions.
There have been a host of
studies that examine the role that gratitude plays in our overall well-being. Gratitude has been
found to be one of the most important factors in a person’s
well-being. Being shown gratitude also boosts reported feelings of
well-being in schoolchildren, in customer relationships, and in adolescents, to name just a
few! Similarly, feeling gratitude (“counting your blessings”) and expressing it
were linked to both an immediate and enduring positive mood, increased optimism, and improved life
satisfaction.
Interestingly, one group of researchers studied
gratitude’s effect on the brain over three months. Participants who completed
gratitude-expression activities had significantly increased neural activity in
the part of the brain linked to gratitude, even after three months. They also
demonstrated a greater likelihood to show gratitude in their daily lives at the
end of the study.
Fortunately, our daily
lives present us with a host of opportunities to practice gratitude and reap
the positive benefits! Here are a few ways that you can bring gratitude into
your day:
While eating: If we eat three or more
times daily, we have many occasions to be in the mode of gratitude. Try what I
call “gratitude bites”: Before every bite of food you take, quietly acknowledge
your gratitude with a “thank you”. You can thank the plants and animals who are
the sources of your food, the farmers who harvested your meal, the distributor
that brought it to your local market, and the person who prepared it (even if
it was you!). This is a great way to slow down your eating and infuse gratitude
throughout your meal.
Before bed: Set aside five minutes
before you go to sleep to express your gratitude. You can do so by writing down
or simply saying the things you are truly thankful for in your life. Nothing is
too big or too small to be grateful for – you can express gratitude for
anything from a supportive partner to a tasty snack. If you get in the habit of
sharing your gratitude every night, you’re training your brain to embrace
gratitude, which will radiate into all aspects of your life.
Throughout the day: Instead of saying a
meaningless thank you, try to replace it with true expression of gratitude in
at least one interaction per day. Tell the barista at your busy local
coffeehouse that you are grateful for her patience and friendliness when
dealing with a non-stop stream of customers. Express to your coworker that you
are thankful for the diligence and creativity she showed when finalizing an
urgent report. Imagine how much more valuable that thank you would be both to
the person who received it and to you!
On the weekend: Set aside an hour on a
weekend to write a note to people who have a positive impact on your life, like
your partner, parents, close friends, or mentor. It’s probable that you have
taken their support and love for granted, and not thanked them enough for all
they do. In the note, express your gratitude and appreciation for their role in
your life. You can even write a note to yourself – after all, you likely
under-appreciate yourself too!
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